


I’m a goofy goober

by UpsettosLand



Series: My crack dungeon [1]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Gen, Spongebob - Freeform, alternative ending, go peter, goofy goobers, the true ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 07:18:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14689203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UpsettosLand/pseuds/UpsettosLand
Summary: Peter Parker saves everyone and defeats Thanos but how???????





	I’m a goofy goober

  * **QUill:**  peter, what happened?
  * **Peter:**  thanos cheated.
  * **THanos:** Cheated? _[To drax]_ Hold on there, baldy. _[mantis turns off the light in her antenna. To peter]_ Oh, grow up. What, you think this is a game of kickball on the playground? You never had a chance to defeat me, fool! And you know why?
  * **PEter:** Because you cheated?
  * **THanos:** No, not because I cheated! Because I'm an evil genius. And you're just a kid. A stupid kid! _[He and his infinity Stones laugh]_
  * **PEter:** I guess you're right, thanos. I am just a kid.
  * **THanos:** Of course I'm right. Okay, stones, time to kill.
  * **Peter:** And you know, I've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven-and-a-half seconds. And if I've learned anything during that time, It's that you are who you are.
  * **THanos:** That's right. Okay, stones...
  * **PEter:** And no amount of wizard magic... _[Turns to stephen, who looks down sadly]_ ...or superhero promotion... _[Turns to the frozen mr stark]_ ...or some other third thing... can make me anything more than what I really am inside: A kid.
  * **THanos:** That's great. Now, get back against the wall.
  * **PEter:** _[over microphone]_ But that's okay.
  * **THanos:** What? What's going on?
  * **PEter:** Because I did what everyone said a kid couldn't do. I made it to Titan, and I beat the squidward dude, and I rode the ship, and I brought the witty lines back.
  * **THanos:** All right, we get the point.
  * **PEter:** So, yeah, I'm a kid. _[Dry ice smoke surrounds thanos, and a spotlight falls on peter]_ And I'm also a goofball. And a wing nut. And a Knucklehead McSpazatron!
  * **THanos:** _[coughs from the smoke]_ What's going on here?
  * **PEter:** But most of all, I'm... _[he swipes his arm]_
  * **PEter:** Okay, settle down. Take it easy.
  * **PEter:** I'm... I'm...
  * **THanos:** What the Zen-Whoberi?!
  * **PEter:** _[Bursts into song]_ ♪I'm a Goofy Goober! Rock!♪ _[thanos is flung into the wall]_ ♪You're a Goofy Goober! Rock! We're all Goofy Goobers! Rock! Goofy, goofy, goober, goober! Put your toys away. Well, all I gotta say when you tell me not to play, I say no way. No way! No, no freaking way! I'm a kid, you say, when you say I'm a kid I say, Say it again and then I say thanks. Thanks! Thank you very much! So if you're thinking that you'd like to be like me, go ahead and try. The kid inside will set you free! I'm a Goofy Goober! Rock!♪
  * **THanos:** _[He is recovering from being flung into the wall]_ What's happening? _[Sees peter dancing]_ His dance moves are impressive, but I'm in control. _[To stones]_ Seize him!
  * **THe stones cuz yeah:** All hail thanos. _[Crowd in around peter. A few seconds later, peter bursts out in a spiderman outfit, playing an electric guitar. He slowly goes up while thanos and Mr.Stark look at him ascend]_
  * **QUill:** Whoo!
  * _[As peter plays the electric guitar, its head stock lights up and a laser beam blasts out and destroys a stone]_
  * **DRax:** _[After peter blast a stone]_ I'm free. I've been freed!
  * **Thanos:** What? _[peter zaps more stones off]_ No! _[peter twirls into action, zapping even more stones off]_ My precious stones!
  * **Quill:** _[peter shoots fingerguns]_ Ha!
  * **mantis:** _[peter exists]_ **:**  Woo!
  * _**Stephen** :[peter hands back the time stone]_ Yee-haw!
  * **The cloak™️:** _[peter fixes it because it ripped I’m sure]_ Meow. _[peter references something from the Spider-Man comics, making all the fans scream]_
  * **THanos:** His chops are too righteous! The stone can't handle this level of rock 'n' roll! GAmora’s Corpse, do something! GAmora’s corpse? _[Looks for her. She is still a corpse]_ All right, that's the last straw! STones, I command you to... _[thanos realizes he lost all the stones and vision is on whack a mole island]_
  * **Vision:**  [on whack a mole island] hell yeah 
  * **THanos:** I better get outta here. _[Runs for the door, but a crowd of people from whack a mole island burst in]_
  * **BUcky:** Look, it's the child who fought against me in civil war who saved us.
  * **THanos:** Out of my way, fools. _[The aveneers cast ignore him and rush to see peter, stomping over thanos in the process]_ Ow! Ow! Oooooooow! _[yelping]_
  * **THanos:** _[He is now squished into the texture of cookie dough, covered with shoe-prints. nick fury picks him up and put him in a cage]_ Come on, I was just kidding. Come on, you guys knew that, didn't you? With the stones and the snapping my finger... Wasn't that hilarious, everybody? _[His cage is put in a  the shield helicraft which totally still exists, which flies away]_ I will destroy all of you! _[Everyone watches the scene unfold and they return to whack a mole island]_
  * **Thor:** Well, bruce who did nothing at all, I have to admit, you were right. Your compassion for these superhero doods proved a most admirable trait. Without it, I would have never again seen my beloved brother who’s dead oh shoot. I think you're going to make a fine ruler of anger management classes one day. Now, let's go home. _[Turns to leave, but is stopped by vision]_
  * **Vision:**  yo Thor wait aren’t we forgetting the fam that made me
  * **THot:** What? Oh, yeah. TOny stake, I forgot to unfreeze you. _[He does so, but Mr. stark is now Steve Rogers instead of a rich dood]_
  * **Mr. stark:**  I’ll sue you!
  * **THoR:** I guess I had it set to "bad joke" ending. _[Sets the hAjmer ending settings from " bad joke" to "unfrozen" and then turns tony back from chris Evans into robert Downey jr]_
  * **Mr. stark:** Yippee!
  * **THot:** Oh, I'm sorry for falsely freezing you, tony. And may I say, sir, you are a very lucky fellow to have in your employment such a brave, faithful, and heroic young lad. Where is he, anyway?
  * **PEter:** I'm up here. _[We see him hanging from ropes]_
  * **QUill:** I'm on it. _[Gets peter down]_
  * **thor:** Go to him now, stark. Embrace him. _[tony walks over to peter]_
  * **Mr. Stark:**  Peter me boy, I'm sorry I ever doubted ye. That's a mistake I won't make again.
  * **Peter:** Oh, Mr. Stark, you old soft-serve. _[They hug]_
  * **Mr. stark:** And now, peter, I'm gonna do something that I should've done six days ago. steve rogers! Front and center, please. _[Steve comes]_ I think we all know who rightfully deserves to wear that avenger button. _[Looks at peter]_
  * **STeve:** I couldn't agree more, sir.
  * **CLint:** Hooray for peter! Wait I’m not in this movie
  * _[Everyone cheers]_
  * **PEter:** Wait a second, everybody. There's something I need to say first. I just don't know how to put it.
  * **STeve:** I think I know what it is. After going on your life-changing journey, you now realize you don't want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along.
  * **Peter:** Are you crazy? _[Grabs avenger pin]_ I was just gonna say that your fly is down! _[steve’s eyes widen]Avenger_! This is the greatest day of my life! _[jumps in the air in excitement and a freeze frame occurs and fades to the credits]_
  * _[The credits begin rolling as "[Ocean Man](http://spongebob.wikia.com/wiki/Ocean_Man)," starts playing_



**Author's Note:**

> 1.i can spell wakanda just whack a mole island is cooler  
> 2.im glad to have experienced this and now you will too


End file.
